Does that mean I look like a pedophile? ‘Cause I don’t see it. You don’t look very anti-christ either. Is there actually an organized club? Is this a formal invitation because I’m acceptin’.
I know the anti-christ. He’s not as intimidating as you’d think. So I’m not all too flattered by them thinking I am. We’ll make a club. The country people hate us but this town is nice so we have to suck it up club.
Lil miss you should sleep! Bloody hell, once I stayed up 24 hours an’ I ended up asking the garbage man for chips— I thought I was in a diner. Ten years of smokin’ done me wrong, I swear. I have so many stories of my slowness I could fill a book— I could fill many books.
I’ve spent the past 24 hours watching any movie that pops in my head. Which means I’ve watched The Elephant Man four times and Byzantium two. But that’s beside the point. Tell me more, these are interesting.
I just spent five minutes staring at my plate of food before looking up and saying I wanted food. I think I glitched or something. Then I proceeded to hit my head when I stood ‘cos I’m far too tall for houses. Tonight is lovely, how’s yours?
Well I haven’t slept for nearly 24 hours, but I think I want to hear more about this before I proceed to do so.
Hey, hi, hello. Today has been very..eventful, I guess you can say, for me. I happened to finally get out of my house - for ice cream of course. When leaving the little cafe I found — they have some pretty good lookin’ cupcakes there by the way — I stumbled across of crying child. I don’t really know what to do with crying, ya know? So.. I gave him my ice cream and became unfortunately ice cream-less. Just as I sighed in relief, a screaming mother came over and accused me of being a pedophile who’s out for her son’s virginity and “innocence”. That’s when I backed away and ran. That’s it, folks. Stay tuned for more adventures where I venture to the outside world.
Country folk man, they’re strange creatures. They look at me like I’m the fucking anti-christ or something. I mean, that might not be far from the truth. But they’re only judging me for my looks. So you know, join the club. We’ll get t-shirts.
