Arms Wide Open || Self Para

Kiara had never expected it to be like this. She had never expected this much pain, and she had never expected to want this to be over with so badly. Three days she had spent in agony, unable to breathe for the most part, pretty certain she was going to die. Three days in the hospital wanting to rip her womb out with her own nails, and three days trying to think of anything other than the excruciating pain that she was being put into. On the third day, Kiara had enough. She was ready for it to be over, she was to the point that she wanted the baby out, and if she was honest with herself, she didn’t care if she kept it.

If there was one thing the fury had been adament about with the doctors, it had been her lack of willingness to have a C-Section, or anything that involved being cut into for that matter. However, when she was told that the baby could come out sooner if she would give in, she didn’t hesitate to change her mind. Through a smoke filled breath, Kiara had said good bye to Zayn and Bo unwillingly, and was wheeled away to the operating room. The next fragment of time was nothing but a blur, and for the most part, all Kiara can remember is discomfort and exhaustion. Beyond that though, she can remember the crying. A sound she had never expected to actually want to hear. It was an almost unearthial sound, not like any infant she had ever heard before in her life. But Kiara was fully aware, even in that moment, that Regan would be like no other infant she had ever seen in her life. Regan. Was that her name? Was it definitely a girl? 

Looking around frantically when she heard the crying, Kiara caught sight of a pale grey flesh being swaddled in a blanket and carried away as she registered that she was being stitched back up herself. She would have to wait until she was out of the operating room to see her baby.  "It’s a girl, Kiara.“ Her attending doctor’s voice broke through her thoughts and a smile spread across her face. The doctor had been aware of how badly she’d wanted a little girl, and just that simple act of letting her know was enough to relax the fury away from the moment entirely. Before long, sleep beckoned and Kiara drifted into a dreamless slumber. She would remain there for some time until a nurse came to her room, where Zayn and Bo were waiting for her to come to, nudging her awake so she could share those first real moments with her new daughter. With Regan.